(Warning: extremely inappropriate/offensive language and very rash reactions that may or may not be coherent follow.)
(Editors Note: He isn’t kidding)
I am so sick and fucking tired of this bullshit. Guatemala. Fucking Guatemala?! Are you fucking serious? Carlos Fucking Ruiz?! Dude would cheat to win a fucking senior citizen bingo tournament. AND HE SCORED ON US. ON TIM HOWARD. When did Tim Howard turn into a fucking matador?
It looked like we had never seen a fucking soccer ball before. It looked like we were playing fucking kickball. OH LOOK HERE’S THE BALL LET’S SEE HOW FAR WE CAN KICK IT OR BETTER YET WHY NOT LET THESE FUCKERS HAVE IT AND MAKE US LOOK LIKE INCOMPETENT ASSHOLES.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. What else is there besides making changes? Wide sweeping changes. I care not one iota who was in the team. I care not one iota who was hurt. I care not one iota where we fucking played. You cannot lose to fucking Guatemala by two goals in World Cup Qualifying. I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOUR VISION IS OR HOW MANY GERMAN-AMERICANS YOU RECRUIT. It has been disappointing for too long. Klinsmann made some claims when he took over. He was going to change the overall style of the USMNT. We were going to attack. We were going to be technical. We were going to be exciting. NONE OF THIS HAS COME TO PASS. We are left fighting for our lives to make the Hex. We should stroll through CONCACAF. No excuse is viable. No excuse shall be permitted.
Instead, we are worse than before Klinsmann took over – Bob Bradley looks like Jesus on the touchline compared to this. I don’t give a fuck if we won a few games against European competition when their best players were in the skybox or on a beach somewhere laughing at us Yanks playing against their backups. I don’t give a fuck if he – Klinsmann – convinced Julian Green to play for the US over Germany. The Deutscher Fussball-Bund didn’t want him. He would have never sniffed the fucking pitch in a meaningful game for them. HE WAS LOANED BY BAYERN TO HAMBURGER AND PROMPTLY DEMOTED TO THEIR RESERVE SQUAD.
This game was a fucking atrocity. The anger steadily built within me as the match went along like Leo DiCaprio being forced to watch a fucking Hallmark TV movie. How have we taken so many giant leaps backwards? How do you let 85 year old Carlos Fucking Ruiz score on you? Where is the passion? Where is the pride? Where is any semblance of fucking responsibility to not let your fans down? Where was the fight and the “oh shit, we can’t lose to these fucking guys”? WHERE WAS THE FAMOUS AMERICAN NEVER SAY DIE SPIRIT? It wasn’t there. It was totally and absolutely absent.
I was personally offended. I felt like my eyes and heart were under assault. It felt like a personal attack on all the time and effort I put into supporting this team. All of us fans were betrayed. We were let down in the most distilled form of the phrase. We must demand change. We must call for fucking heads to roll. This should not be tolerated. This kind of performance should be met with disgust and the gnashing of teeth; the rending of flesh. WE DESERVE MORE. There are 300 million people in this goddamn country. Find me eleven that I can count on, US Soccer. Give us something to believe in. At the very least, give us a reason to think we can take care of business when it should abso-fucking-lutley be taken care of.
Fire Klinsmann. Start the U23s against Guatemala on Tuesday. Get Gyasi Zardes the fuck off of my national team. Send Tim Howard to the fucking commentary booth. Have a little self-respect, US Soccer. Otherwise, why the fuck should we care? Why the fuck should we scream and yell and spend our time and resources on you? Do something. I’m begging you. We are all begging you. Fulfill your fucking basic purpose.
How’s that for a fucking hot take?
by Michael H.FOLLOW THE OPEN FIELD