today in bill simmons is a strange little man

today in bill simmons is a strange little man

For the proper rule abiding, sports fearing personality – there’s a fuck of a lot to like about Bill Simmons. Conversely, for the occasional pessimist comfortable telling their own mother she’s “not in the target demographic” there’s a helluva lot to find annoyance within Simmons’ nasal toned takes and the general demeanor of the kid in Boyhood during his nail painting rebellious phase.

That said – Simmons is prolific, ESPN made him a star, and his unbridled, annoying genius in the realms of media rivals that of both Kanye West and Donald Trump – you know, the same person in 2016. There is no one in media better at finding and cultivating writing talent than Simmons – the internet is very much a better place because of him.


Last night Simmons and HBO aired the second installment of his new show – Any Given Wednesday – and it was…pretty good. Mark Cuban is relevant, Bill Hader is one of “those guys” and Malcolm Gladwell is smarter than all of us.

That’s all pretty irrelevant compared to the stunt he pulled in the shows closing segment concerning Game of Thrones as “what a casual fan wants from next season” being that THEON FUCKING GREYJOY SHOULD GET HIS DICK BACK.

I cannot, I will not…ever, even…at all.

Simmons is the Jay Cutler of media – huge salary, all the talent around him, has plentttyyyy of his own great tools, but when the chips are in to win he throws a pick into quadruple coverage because he’s been hungover for the past thirteen years/says fuck ESPN on his own ESPN owned podcast/talks about THEON FUCKING GREJOY GETTING HIS DICK BACK and very clearly thinks the joke is hilarious when his wife is for sure cringing and even his theatric suckling most loyal fans are like “hmm…eh”.

Classic Bill – really good show, weird, bad, confounding decision at the goal line.






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