where else can average dudes waste their time? : Matt’s fantasy football, week 1

where else can average dudes waste their time? : Matt’s fantasy football, week 1

We all do it.

Once August comes, we become fantasy football experts again. Don’t draft him, his carries are going down. So and so is the sleeper of the year. Cam in the first round? Grow up. Will I lie to you? No. I act like an expert, too. Yet, I know I’m not. Sure, I won my fantasy league last year despite it being my first venture into the addiction. But, does that mean I’m an expert? Is anyone an expert?

During about week 4 of last season, I realized that these so-called wizkids had no idea what they were talking about. Every week was the “Lacy breakout week.” Fitz was supposed to be washed up. Sell Russ while you can. If you want to figure out fantasy football in one sentence keep reading. Play the guys who will get the most touches. If you’re unsure, sit him. Now that that piece of unsolicited advice is out of the way, let’s get to the real reason for this piece.

Firstly, I am here to document my fantasy season with brutal honesty. The only thing worse than a “professional” fantasy player is one who never admits that starting Antonio Andrews was a bad idea. That’s where I come in. I’ll let you know who I think is a sleeper and when that guy inevitably busts. When I screw up I’ll own up to it. When I hit, you’ll hear it too. Literally. I’ve been working on my Glen Davis yell for quite some time now and it’s damn near perfect. Tune in to check out which players I suggest you start, sit or trade. At the very least, you can watch my team implode on a weekly basis, which will help you get over your 2-4 start. So who did I draft? Thought you’d never ask.


QB: Tyrod Taylor

RB: David Johnson (keeper)

RB: Mark Ingram

WR: Dez

WR: Jarvis Landry

TE: Charles “Hands of” Clay

FLEX: Decker and his wife

FLEX: Duke Johnson

D: Rams


Bench: Christine “This is the year” Michaels. Devante Parker. Sterling Reputation Shephard. Josh Gordon. Bilal. Ajayi. Bruce Ellington.


Draft notes:

It’s a 10 team 1/2PPR and I drafted last. All of our keepers took the spot of our first round pick. I grabbed Dez 20th overall and Ingram next on my snake pick. Then I scooped Landry and Decker. After that I reached for Duke Johnson. Then I piled up on backups with talent and made sure I spent a pick on Shep. Gordon was my reach but I thought I had the wrs to do it. So basically I’m waiting for Foster, Forte and Rawls to get injured. One of them will and I’ll make my move from there.


Barring injury, these clowns will be my starters for week 1. Regardless, I’ll be sure to provide an update and let you know who my surefire starters are. Time now to hit you with some waiver pick ups.


Grab ‘em while you can

 Romo went undrafted in my league. I’m not too sure why I didn’t draft him. Anyways, scoop him up. When healthy, he’s a tier two quarterback at the worst.

Edgy enough to give Reggie Bush a wedgie. Not really. But the man once dissed by Eminem could be McCoy’s back up. The release of Karlos Williams makes Bush a must have for Shady owners. Gillisee is gettable as well.

Sanu and Fuller. Stat of the week, Sanu had more rushing touchdowns than receiving ones last year. Still, he should be the number 2 wideout in an improved Falcons offense. If you can’t grab him, snag Will Fuller and think about flexing him in favorable matchups.

Miller, Allen, ASJ and Watford all went undrafted in my league. I expect Jenkins to reclaim the starting spot in time for him to grab tds from Famous Jameis. Dwayne Allen is the real gem here. Luck’s number one tight end sounds appealing.


Stay tuned fans, and happy drafting.


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