Real Quotes from Real People on a Friday

Real Quotes from Real People on a Friday

So it’s Friday and I almost left my apartment without writing this blog… for shame (on me). But I thankfully caught myself and plopped myself on my couch to find some solid quotes. Spoiler Alert… this week we get away from the butt stuff. (Sorry to those of you who enjoy the butt stuff)

 

Quote 1:

“I’m hood as dick”

 

Context:

The specific circumstances around this quote are a bit fuzzy, my apologies. But, what I can do is give you a brief history of the the analogy of being “___ as dick”. My friends and I like to compare things. I’m sure you have friends who do the same thing. To make it known how good or bad something is you’d say this burrito tastes like “heaven” or something along those lines. Or if a party is bad you could say “damn this party is worse than the Holocaust”. (Hopefully you’ve never been to party that bad). Anyway, instead of comparing things to actual other things with some shred of relevance to whatever we’re talking about… we always end our analogy with “dick”. Dick is an all encompassing word for us. Normally we use dick to say how much something is… if something is really good, really bad, really funny, really sad…. All these “really moments” are compared to dick… it just makes sense. So for us, that burrito was “good as dick” or that party was “bad as dick” etc. etc.

 

Quote 2:

“I’m gunna airdrop you dildo in van”

 

Context:

From time to time my friends and I will talk about porn. This quote was said during one of those conversations. My friend was telling us about a video he had just seen titled “dildo in van”. He was saying how funny and ridiculous it was. Something more for entertainment purposes than sensual pleasure. From how he described the scene, it didn’t seem like my cup of tea. But he pressed me to go look it up and watch it. I refused, saying I really didn’t want to see what he was describing. He told me I was missing out, I said I was happy to not see it and I think I’d be mad if I ended up watching. My friend realized I was never going to go out of my way to watch “Dildo in van”. So he made it known that I wouldn’t need to chase down the video, he was gunna bring it to me… which brings us to “I’m gunna airdrop you dildo in van”

He was a man of his word. Dildo in van was airdropped.

I still have not seen Dildo in Van.

 

And that’s it. Hope your weekend is good as dick and you find a porn that get’s you so excited you want to share it with your friends.

 

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