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Month: November 2016

If the Season Ended Today: Week 13

If the Season Ended Today: Week 13

Playoff watching and dreaming is the perfect way to pass 3/4 of the work day. Fantasizing about an electric Al Michaels touchdown call that wins the Giants a game late in the season takes precedent over work metrics. We aren’t quite there yet, but we can see the playoff picture starting to take shape. And if the season were to end today…

NFC

1. Dallas would get a bye as the number one seed in the NFC. Not having to go to Seattle for a playoff game is a natural viagra for Cowboys fans, bandwagon or not.
2. Seattle would host the highest remaining seed in the divisional round. What would be important for the Seahawks is an extra week to search far and wide for an answer to a leaky offensive line.
3. Detroit would host Washington, the leagues hottest offense. A Gruden versus a human with cyborg level emotion. My only would be regret for this game is no Megatron vs Norman matchup. I’d take Washington 31-21.
4. Me:  Atlanta can’t possibly be paced by the Giants offense.  Matt Ryan and company are too explosive–even with the spare parts of Cleveland–to be caught by the Giants Jekyll-Hyde offense.  Odell Beckham and Julio briefly engage in a mono e’ mono receiving dual, but Atlanta’s dome provides an experience for the Giants it always has.  Falcons 33 Giants 21

Me to Me:  Nonsense.  The Giants defense is the hottest in the NFL.  JPP is playing at a level comparable to Khalil Mack and Von Miller, and that bad man #90 has 2.5 less fingers than the aforementioned All-Pros.  You think Mack could have intercepted that ball in JPP’s situation. I DON’T THINK SO.  Defense travels, even in a environment that manufactures crowd noise to gain an edge.  The Giants SEC duo of Manning-Beckham dominate in the Georgia Dome once again.  Giants 37 Falcons 16

AFC

Oakland and New England have ridden the #1 seed seesaw for the last two weeks. But this blog is retroactive to today, thus if the season ended today….

1. In yet another tough visit to the Jets, New England scratched out a win in MetLife to move to 9-2 and reclaim the #1 seed in the AFC. It behooves Belichick to go full tilt for the #1 seed in order to avoid a scenario similar to ’15 AFC title game. The Patriots have had a playoff bye every season since 2010. This year looks no different.
2. Oakland clinched its first winning season since 2002, though this teams aspirations should be bigger. January football in the black hole is a second Christmas for the fans and the fans of the fans. I’m a fan of the fans. Derek Carr is my league MVP right now.
3. Baltimore would host the surging Dolphins at the AFC #3 seed. The story of recent has been the streaking Phins and their offense. Reformed rule book loophole hater John Harbaugh and the Ravens are one of the most successful playoff teams of our time, and the experience would (and the leagues top ranked defense) prove too be too much for a first time playoff team. Ravens 26 Dolphins 13
4. Be impressed by the Chiefs after Sunday night. Peyton Mannings cadaver set a precedent last season with his championship that Alex Smith should look to. Labeled a game-manager, ’16 Smith has more play making ability than ’15 Manning, and a defense very comparable. The Texans also stink. Chiefs 34 Texans 10

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romney, etc

romney, etc

One time when I was a junior in high school I asked my World History teacher if we could watch 300 instead of taking a quiz. His response: “You’d have a better chance of seeing Jesus Christ get into a light saber fight with a dinosaur.”

For all those wondering if Mitt Romney will be our next Secretary of State, see that same quote.

Recently, Trump surrogates-turned-advisors have been all over the media besmirching Romney. Kellyanne Conway has taken to Twitter to express just how upset Trump supporters would be if PEOTUS chose Romney for the position. Newt Gingrich has done more of the same except he expressed his dissent on FOX and other outlets. This open dissent has gained steam in all major media outlets and been a trending story over the past 72 hours. This is exactly what Donald Trump wanted.

For 18 consecutive months, we saw Trump surrogates act as a parrot for the mogul. They have defended everything from gaffes making fun of the disabled to audio tapes which bragged about sexual assault. Through thick and thin they have done everything PEOTUS has asked of them. Why would they suddenly break ranks and openly trash someone their boss is considering for Secretary of State? They are doing it because Donald John Trump told them to; loyal to a fault.

For Mr. Trump, this is all about vengeance. This past March, Romney gave a now famous speech in Utah that completely bashed Trump. The former presidential candidate was a leader of the #NeverTrump movement. Every other day on Twitter we watch Donald Trump bully and taunt his naysayers. Why would Mitt Romney receive special treatment and therefore exemption from Trump’s 14 year-old teenager mentality? Some may argue that Trump is attempting to make amends with the Republican Party he spend months dogging. Well, if that were true he would not have selected appointees who are scarily similar to the crew of Jack Sparrow’s Black Pearl. For two years we watched Trump mock the GOP. He has no intentions to appoint Romney as Secretary of State in order to appease the GOP establishment. He never did.

 

If you are loyal to Trump, you receive a spot in the White House. It does not matter if you are an anti-Semitic or a proponent of placing Muslims on a national registry. Support Trump and reap the benefits. This is why we must prepare for Rudy Giuliani to be our Secretary of State. The writing has been on the wall ever since Trump hired a White Nationalist to be his senior adviser.

 

But it is not good enough for Trump to simply appoint Rudy and let Romney quietly descend into the political abyss he came from. He must drag Romney through the mud first. This is why we watched Conway, Gingrich, Hannity and others spend a week reminding us of just how awful Romney is. Trump wants Romney to pay for his words. No, the plug cannot simply be pulled on Romney. Instead, Trump must let the man suffer first. Ironically, the entire country may suffer as well.

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Plane carrying Brazilian soccer club Chapecoense crashes in Colombia

Plane carrying Brazilian soccer club Chapecoense crashes in Colombia

A plane headed for Medellin, Colombia crashed last night. It was carrying players and staff of the Brazilian first division soccer club Chapecoense, as well as members of the media. There were 81 people on board, only six survived. It has been reported that three of the survivors may be players.

Chapecoense were on the way to play Colombian club Atletico Nacional in the Copa Sudamericana (South American Cup) final, which is essentially a South American Champions League. They were an amazing story: only reaching the Brazilian top division in 2014, Chapecoense were in the fourth division as recently as 2009.

The club was on a Cinderella run through the Copa Sudamericana. They were beloved by citizens of Santa Catarina, a small Brazilian city with a population under 200,000 in which they played. It is a truly heartbreaking tragedy, and the worldwide soccer community – and really every community – is deeply saddened and reaching out with support. Atletico Nacional is apparently petitioning to award the Copa Sudamericana championship to Chapecoense. Another petition has evidently been started to allow the club to receive free loanees and be exempt from relegation.

As you would expect, many images and videos of the team are being shared.

Here are some of the players who were not making the trip to the final, sitting in their home locker room after news of the crash:

This is a video of Chapecoense, in the same locker room, celebrating their win last week that saw them through to the final:

Here’s a video of Chapecoense players telling a teammate he is going to be a father. It’s from 20 days ago:

Finally, this is a video of Chapecoense fans who came together at their stadium:

I don’t know what else to say besides hug your peoples.

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Cleveland Can’t Cleveland the Giants

Cleveland Can’t Cleveland the Giants

I’ve got nothing as far as deep analysis goes.  The Giants stunk for 45 minutes of the game.  They still maintain the confusing offensive scheme designed around getting the ball to 3rd class citizens and other people not named Odell Beckham Jr.  Eli was chucking ducks left and right early in the game and failed to connect with Beckham on passes with big play potential, the run game failed to convert 3rd and 1’s against an expansion level defense.  Nothing the Giants did offensively today would make you confident in them moving forward.  It’s truly incredible how the sometimes move the ball at will (which coincides with them targeting 13 and 87 more so than 82 and whatever fucking number Will Tye is) and other times they decide to run the same two insufferable run plays out of the shotgun.  Nothing like watching your guard run into the back of another offensive lineman because he’s too slow to get out when he pulls.  Giants are truly a seminar in running the football.

I will say this: those who know the Giants like I do will know that this is a game they historically lose.  There was a quiet expectation that the Giants–those same old Giants–would lose this game and piss away a golden opportunity.  So, even though it was one of the ugliest wins against an all-time bad team (and an all-time bad uniform), doesn’t the fact the Giants defied the unspoken expectation make them something?  I don’t know what that something is from a metrics standpoint, I can’t quiet quantify what this team is or explain to you why the run the same fucking offensive plays that don’t work time after time.  But they just win.  By the grace of god, they win games despite putting themselves into bad spots on special teams and offense, mustering up nothing when they’re given great field position and having to rely on a defensive masterpiece for the victory.  Even though this was one of their worst games of the year, they still won by two scores. Even when they are at their worse, the Giants are not worse than an all-time bad team. (that sentence hurt to write)

Speaking of defense, what a time to come alive.  Seven sacks today, bringing their grand total during this winning streak to 21.  There’s now some certified studs out on the football field as opposed to dollar signs with pads on, who know how to make me frustrated.  Olivier Vernon, and his Pop-Eye arms, has teamed up with JPP to produce a 1-2 wrecking crew on the defensive line for the Giants. Pierre-Paul’s resurgence is an absolutely great story.  Anyone not rooting for this guy is the biggest scrooge to ever.  As if people who are overly critical of professional athletes aren’t bad enough, those who hate on a guy going through a human moment (one born from a level of stupidity usually seen amongst common folk) need to suck on the business end of a shotgun.  JPP is back, being pushed by Vernon, and it’s freaking awesome.   I love the bromance this pass-rush duo has.  Always meeting at the quarterback, sitting together on the bench.  It’s a modern day McAdoo love story.  Love wins, so I hope it ends in a Super Bowl win.

A trip to Pittsburgh is next for Big Blue.  I’ll be at the game, so follow me on snapchat @ msilbs for that experience if you want to see either true exuberance or pure despair.  I promise I won’t disappoint.  Triple cover Antonio Brown and I think we got a chance.

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fu olberman

fu olberman

Somebody tell Keith Olbermann to pop a Benadryl and give his mouth a rest. Actually, put some mittens on that guy and keep his fingers away from the Twitter machine. I have room for only one KO in my life and it’s the Knockout babe who is constantly trying to wife me up. Okay, maybe that last sentence was a lie. But still, the only KO I want in my life is Kevin Ollie, and even he is on thin ice right now.

As a spirit animal for many radical left-wingers, Olbermann has used this campaign to catapult himself back into the public spotlight. At least, he is trying to. Is he a sportscaster talking politics? Or is he a political pundit who dabbles in sports? Find a lane Mr. Olbermann.

Actually, I will find it for you.

You simply do not have a good, clear political mind. You are a prisoner of a time period which millennials live in; a cultural generation swinging away from an older populace who desperately desires relevance. Yes, millennials do live in a microwave culture. We want what we want and we wanted it yesterday. But, we still want good content. We do not want to sacrifice solid political reporting for the poorly-produced, albeit instantaneously punditry you supply. The young audience you are trying to captivate, Mr. Olbermann, recognizes when someone warms up old Ramen Noodles and tries to pass it off as Neo-Thai infused with Peruvian spice.

Let’s look at the video Olbermann has been pushing on Twitter. As the host of a web show no one really takes seriously (GQ’s The Closer with Keith Olbermann) Olbermann has found an outlet to spew his extreme, incendiary and anti-Trump rhetoric to whoever watches. One of his weekly reports detailed an obscure section of our Constitution; Article 25 Section 4. To quickly summarize, the presidential cabinet and the VP can remove the POTUS if they deem him or her unfit to serve. The purpose of the clause is to provide an escape route for the country in the event a president suddenly undergoes circumstances that makes him or her mentally or physically unstable. Think Reagan and when he transferred the presidency to his VP for about 8 hours while he underwent surgery.

You guessed it, Olbermann is calling on the cabinet and Pence to act on this clause and remove DJT from the White House. Do I think Trump is mentally unfit to head our country and therefore the Free World? Yes. Do I think we should provoke this clause and set a dangerous precedent in the name of edgy political commentary? Hell no.
By tossing around this clip on Twitter Olbermann is demonstrating that he is just as unstable as the man he is railing against. It does not matter if Olbermann, or I, think that Trump is a mental train wreck. The two of us are not the ones who decide if a president is unfit to serve. The American public decides that issue. And just about half of all voters think the guy can do a good job in office. The ultimate irony is that Olbermann wants to remove a man he believes to be a detriment to democracy by refusing to acknowledge the voice of millions of voters. My question to Mr. Olbermann: Who died and made you the ultimate moral compass for our country?

The time for griping is over. Trump will be president by February. I disagree with him on just about every policy and I plan to have those discussions in order to express my dissent. What I will not do is wine like a child who just got his kickball stolen by the mean 5th grader. Grow up, Keith, and spend the next four years doing pushups so you can whoop that mean 5th grader’s ass four years from now. Spending the next two months crying about it won’t get you anywhere.
Oh, and while you’re at it, stop urging your hundreds and thousands of followers to destabilize our precious system of government. We can weather the next four years. Let’s not jeopardize our democracy in the meantime.

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raising our children right

raising our children right

Incredible stuff here. Does little Jimmy want any part of this? Who cares – you’re the douchebag dad who says what goes. Are these people spending an exorbitant amount of money on vacation spots to get this little fucker ready for a swag swinging xXx lifestyle? Maybe – or maybe this little daredevil doesn’t need school because time waits for no badass.

My favorite part is easily the “drop the hammer mom!” on the boat – really drives the tone home halfway through the video – easy lag point for the audience, let’s you know what’s what. That or the constantly misplaced screams -basically background music, also the fact that I’m stupid enough to have thought this was real for a good thirty seconds or so. Had me going till the ski cliff scene, no ones legs are that still approaching a powder bed – not even an inappropriately handled four year old.

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while you elbowed the elderly and traversed virtual shopping carts – elon musk was being elon musk

while you elbowed the elderly and traversed virtual shopping carts – elon musk was being elon musk

Profit Confidential – Elon Musk needed some good SpaceX news to distract from the SpaceX launch that ended in an explosion earlier this year. Lucky for him, NASA decided to award SpaceX a $112.0-million contract, giving the company a much needed vote of confidence.

The contract is for launching NASA’s “Surface Water and Ocean Topography vehicle,” or “SWOT.” (Source: “SpaceX wins NASA contract to launch ocean-surveying satellite,” The Verge, November 23, 2016.)

 

Sometime in 2021, SpaceX’s “Falcon 9” will blast off from the Vandenberg Air Force Base in California and carry the SWOT into low Earth orbit. The satellite will monitor 90% of the planet’s oceans and rivers, making it the “first-ever global survey of Earth’s surface water.”

It was designed as a team effort by engineers from both NASA and the French space agency Centre National d’Etudes Spatiales and could “improve ocean circulation models and weather and climate predictions” and “aid in freshwater management around the world.”

It is not the first time that NASA entrusted SpaceX with an important launch. The company also put the “Jason-3” satellite into space this past January, and it regularly supplies the International Space Station with equipment and core materials.

But some analysts worried that SpaceX had tarnished its reputation with a series of explosions and missed deadlines. Not only has the company failed to deliver on time, but it also created fodder for its commercial rivals. Let’s take a look at the run of bad SpaceX news.

The first thing that comes to mind were the botched landings on SpaceX’s drone ship.

Elon Musk wanted to make reusable rockets a reality, but in order to do that he needed the SpaceX Falcon 9 booster rocket to land on a drone ship out at sea. The constant waves made that a tricky problem, which led to this: Unfortunately, SpaceX had multiple failed landings at sea. This string of explosions darkened SpaceX’s brand ever so slightly, forcing the company to attempt the maneuver on land. It worked.

Elon Musk got a brief reprieve from bad SpaceX news when the company pulled off a landing on solid ground, and then repeated that performance at sea. Everything seemed to be going well.

That is, until the launchpad explosion in September.

 

In preparation for a launch, SpaceX was performing a routine test on the Falcon 9 when it blew into oblivion. The rocket was carrying an expensive satellite for Facebook Inc CEO Mark Zuckerberg at that time. It was lost in the explosion, which made other SpaceX clients a little uneasy.

No one wanted to lose an expensive satellite to Elon Musk’s ambitions for a reusable rocket.

It took months for SpaceX to identify what went wrong, but words are not enough in the space game. To reinvigorate enthusiasm for his company, Musk will need successful launches. The new contract from NASA shows that the government still has faith in SpaceX’s launch capabilities.

That is exactly the kind of SpaceX news Elon Musk needs right now.

__

What’s Elon Musk doing? You know the guy who just completed a several billion dollar takeover of his own two companies – nothing really, just getting granted a hundred mill++ contract from the government to launch another fucking rocket. Guys got it down to a science at this point – pun intended. Similar to the face of the 2008 financial crisis – Musk won a $1.6 bil contract from NASA to transport shit a few weeks before christmas when he was fledgling money and nearly broke after spending the $180 mil he spent from the PayPal acquisition. Does this mean we’re headed for a crash? Probably not – but if that happens in the next six months, rest assured that musk will still be a billionaire in 10 years time and if he gets another massive grant then hold on to your socks.

 

Fucking guy, half the country stretching itself thin to get home and talk politics with people they more or less hate and buy random bullshit the next day while he snoozes over another hundred mil to play with huge space dicks. Incredible.

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