all jake wants for christmas is for doug marrone to chip his teeth on coal

all jake wants for christmas is for doug marrone to chip his teeth on coal

I’ve been a titans fan for sixteen years. Through the good er, basically two seasons, their inaugural after coming to tennessee from houston and the one yard game against the rams, and a 13-3 run on ’08 before choking in the divisional against baltimore. team has been so irrelevant for nearly two decades. Fast forward – Jeff Fisher’s been gone long enough for the stink to quell and coming into this year I wasn’t sure if a franchise QB in mariaota was a possibility but was damn near certain that the compiled O-line was good enough to win at least six games.  I was right, obviously, and sitting at 8-6 with a win/control scenario with two divisional games coming up – I felt like it was gonna be a preeeety merry christmas.

alas, no. The titans continue a long history of disappointment after beating the defending superbowl champs and AFC West leader in consecutive weeks where the opponents played, well, good football. Dropping a game to the fucking 2-12 Jaguars is so disgusting I’m not even surprised – and to top it off Mariaota fractured the fibula of his right calf in the waning moments before cassel somehow threw a touchdown to delanie walker before pick sixing himself into oblivion on the following possession.

The game, obviously, was an enigma. Blake Bortles has been incredibly bad all season and for the majority of his three year career (not always his fault). through 14 games this year bortles had averaged 1.5 td’s, 257 yards passing and a 48.9 qbr. yesterday? 325 passing, a passing and receiving touchdown, and a 103.5 qbr (a week after posting a 36.6 rating at houston).


Anyway – the point of this piece – i hate doug marrone, his entire family, and everything he stands for. this asshole from the bronx spent the better part of five years in mediocrity between syracuse and the bills before falling into the interim spot last week in jacksonville after gus bradley getting fired. the classic interim coach team boost when the players briefly feel like kids again after said ex-HC not working solution is thrown in the trash by billionaires more concerned with in game pool space than winning records. same thing happened with the titans last year after wisenhunt got fired (beat a much better saints team).


Anyway – marrone has shown through several stops in the past five years that he’s an uninspiring coach (despite the bills definitely being cursed) and taking this shitshow of a franchise to a third win this year does nothing but guarantee their first draft pick like 3 mil less in guaranteed – and very possibly nails the coffin into my already receding hairline never returning after this election season. fuck doug marrone. yesterday sucked but i hope he gets the head job because i need a coach to hate in this divison like i need the tits to pick up alshon jeffrey in free agency this year.


p.s. resident ringer jackasses misreported mariotas injry last night as a broken foot or something and basically skated over the fact that the fractured fibula is a standard two month recovery time and shouldn’t be a long term detriment to his development (randall cobb had the same injury in 2013 and is still a pro bowl caliber player) while straight waxing the the idea that the combination of the loss seriously eroding playoff hopes and the qb loss could set the titans back to another decade of irrelevancy. it might not be totally wrong in knee jerk feelings but things will likely continue to uptick – besides the fact that we hold 5 draftpicks in the first three rounds this year. so yeah – fuck that guy also along with doug marrone.


god i hate this team so much.


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